The engine only stalled a few times during the flight
So we're off to Laos. None of this torturous 30 hour bus journey malarky for us, we're flying! We went with Laos Airlines, which was interesting, to say the least. I've really enjoyed Vietnam, it got a lot better the further north we went, maybe that's just because we got used to the abuse. Anyway Laos should be interesting and I've got a load of good stories and memories from Vietnam.
Chocks away!
——
Who's that pervert with the camera? He's put me right off.
Oooh, Halong Bay was lovely. We did a 3 day/2night thing, were we got to sleep on a boat, which was quite soothing and not as sea-sick inducing as I thought. We got to see Surprising Cave (use your imagination!), there was a spot of kayaking around the sheltered bay where we had harboured and some jumping off the boat into the sea. On the second day we left our boat and went on a trek through Cat Ba Island with our guide Tuan, and two Canadian girls. We me this lovely 68 year old lady who lived on the island with her 70 year old husband (who had left to row 4 hours to the nearest village). She made us some tea and little bananas. Then Tuan showed me a jar which reeked of alcohol with 2 or 3 snakes – dead ones – coiled at the bottom. The converstation went like this:
Me — "What's that for Tuan?"
Tuan — "It's Snake Wine. It make the man strong. That make the lady happy!"
Me — "Oh, that's nice. Not much to do around here I suppose."
Tuan — "Yes, it gets dark at 6pm here. So they go to bed."
Me — "OK…"
Tuan — "Maybe not to sleep though."
Me — "How old are they again?"
Tuan — "The lady 68, the man 70."
Me — "Fair play."
So after that we had seen some frogs having sex, then some cuttle fish having sex, then the old couple having sex… no, only messing. Halong Bay was very sexy. We had a massive lunch and then headed off to our 3 star hotel, in our 5 star boat, then left the next day in a 5 star bus for another 5 star boat and then back in another 5 star bus back to Hanoi. Stars!
Check out the photos on Flickr and lemme know what you think.
——
Handy Andy had really fallen a long way after Changing Rooms was cancelled
Hanoi is a really nice city, full of stuff to do and most importantly, it has a cinema! We went to see Wolverine (rubbish, but Elaine gives it bonus points for Huge Jackman's naked arse) and Star Trek (top notch reboot, although they made a bit too much of the whole "history has changed" thing). I'm thinking of writing a few reviews of movies we've seen while we're away, I miss the whole recommending films to people thing.
Anyway, Hanoi is cool, we got to meet up with some people we'd been travelling with further south. We also got to see Ho Chi Minh in his mausoleum, which was very serious, they had a guard outside whose job it was to shush people if they were talking. There was also the Temple of Literature, with it's stone tortoises and Ngoc Son Temple, with it's real live tortoises. One of the things that was most interesting to me was the typography all over the city. Vietnamese uses a load of diacritics to represent the 6 different tonal sounds of each vowel, and they use about 5 different typefaces on each sign or poster, which can be really overwhelming, but charming in a weird kind of way. Painted all over walls around the city were these odd groups of numbers in red, blue and black paint and it took us a few days to find out that, no they're not numbers for hookers or ladyboys, they're actually phone numbers for builders and handy-men who can come out and fix up the mess they've made on the wall. Industrious.
Check out the photos on Flickr and drop a few comments, especially if there's any love for the movie reviews idea. Peace out.
——
Who got the cake? Shit… off to the shops, quick!
He's got a city named after him, his face is on every denomination of bank-note in the country, and 40 years after his death the people in Vietnam still fondly refer to him as "Uncle Ho". Whether you think he's one of the most important people of the last century, or a war-mongering traitor you have to admit that Ho Chi Minh has left a deep imprint on the lives and memories of the Vietnamese people.
It would be his 119th birthday today and for the last few weeks there have been posters and banners everywhere, even if there's not exactly a party atmosphere. You can't escape his beguiling smile and natty beard. You can read a bit more on Ho Chi Minh here, but it is Wikipedia, so most of it is probably made up.
——
"Were you with a lady last night sir? Did she want it sir? Ooh, suit you!"
After the slightly bonkers few days in Dalat we got to Nha Trang, which is apparently "the third most beautiful bay in the world". Well, we couldn't really tell for the first few days as it pissed down rain. Myself and George did manage to get a game of beach football with some locals, and I scored a nice chip from the halfway line, mainly just 'cause I was too knackered to run with the ball. After the rain cleared up we spent a few days just lounging by the beach and getting dumped around in the massive surf. There was one poor guy in the water wearing a hat (bald) and prescription sunglasses (blind) who got picked up by a huge 6ft wave and dumped, sans hat and shades onto the beach.We had a bit of a search but to no avail. Then the poor bugger lost his watch to another wave, and I think he lost another pair of shades the next day aswell. Poor sod, his missus didn't look too happy, I think he got an earful when she got him off the beach.
From Nha Trang we got a night bus – a very bumpy 12 hours – to Hoi An, which is a really nice old town with Unesco World Heritage Town status. Hoi An is packed with about 200+ tailor's shops, so Elaine and Vicki were in their element. George got a few suits made but I held off, as I don't really need suits – I have one that I've worn twice since I bought it. I eventually gave in and got a few shirts and some linen trousers made, which worked out pretty cheap, cheaper than getting off the peg stuff in H&M or Flopman. Because the place is protected, there's loads of great old buildings and loads of lovely signs and type, which brought out the design nerd in me… George & Vicki left a few days before us, they're off to Hong Kong and then home to Lincoln so we're back to travelling alone again. We'll be stopping in Hué next and then on to Hanoi, so more soon.
As ever, check out the photos on Flickr and leave some comments!
——
Saigon... shit; I'm still only in Saigon... Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back in Bray.
Actually I'm not in Saigon any more, but I'm also not in Bray, so I know it's not all a dream. We started off in Saigon, or Ho Chi Minh City (or Ho Chi Minger as I like to call it) where we met up with Vicki and George, a couple we'd met in Malaysia. We spent a few rainy days just shuffling around Saigon, there wasn't much on as it was Reunification Day on the 30th of May, which is when Saigon surrendered to the Viet Cong and North Vietnam in 1975 . There wasn't much celebrating in the defeated and renamed city. Exiled Vietnamese call the day Ngày Quốc hận, which roughly translated means "National Defeat Day" so you can tell why the place wasn't partying. It is a bit mad to see Hammer & Sickle banners and the big, red, Communist flag flying everywhere, but then there are also tonnes of shops and bars which gives the place a slightly surreal Communist-consumer feel.
Seeing as there were no museums or such-like open we decide to go for a massage, which to say was interesting would be doing it a disservice; I had a tiny little Vietnamese lady with barely any English straddle me like horse, walk up and down my back, pummle and pound my back, legs and arms and massage my bare white arse with her toes. I thought it was quite fun, but the other three all felt slightly violated.
After that we headed to Dalat, a mountain town where they grow flowers and coffee mostly. I bought some chon, which is coffee beans that've been shit out by a weasel, which gives it a nice flavour. All four of us went on a tour around the Dalat countryside in a mini-van as the girls didn't want to go with the local motorbike guides called Easy Riders. The problem was, I think, that the people in Vietnam are a lot more in your face than in Cambodia especially about buying things, and we got trailed to our hotel by a group of these Easy Riders looking to get us on their bikes, so they had pissed Elaine off right from the get go. Dalat was a bit mad at first but it was really nice to be up in the mountains away from the heat.
There'll be more on Vietnam soon, leave a few comments on the auld blog and check out the photos on Flickr
——
With his smiling, beatific face, looking like some kind of bastard love-child of Mr. Miyagi and Colonel Sanders, Ho Chi Minh graces the least valued currency in the world. At time of writing the Vietnamese đồng (VND) is worth about 0.0000421111 VND to the Euro, so 1,000,000 đồng is about €42. Although the Zimbabwean Dollar may have higher denominations of banknotes (the third issuing of the Zimbabwean Dollar had a denomination of Z$100,000,000,000,0000 [that's 100 trillion]) the curreny is suspended until June 2009. Also the Somaliland shilling is of a lower value than the đồng, but Somaliland isn't recognised as a sovereign state so the đồng is the least valued official currency currently in use.
It's a bit crazy to use, and heading to the ATM to take out 4m đồng is a surreal experience. Even the locals knock off a few zeros when they write up a bill for you, but we're living like millionaires! Damn, hell ass millionaires!
——
